Culpable

Jan. 14th, 2006 01:04 am
mrlachatte: (Default)
Aaaaaaaah.  [livejournal.com profile] freestylerfunk linked this article.  Remember my post about how much time I spend doing stupid stuff?  Looks like I've been diagnosed.  It all fits so well :(  It takes a lot of effort to get me to sit down in one place and read a book for several hours; I used to do that at least once a day.  I started on two different film ideas sometime during Christmas break, and I was quite proud that I cranked out 6 pages in 3 hours of concentrated, meaningful work!  I really don't want to be like this, but I don't know how to break it.  I'm obsessed with reading things online, all the time.  Help :(

Now, about the mini anxiety attack that I mentioned.  See, I had this English poetry analysis presentation (15 minutes, no interruptions) on Thursday which was worth 15% of my total International Baccalaureate mark (although probably more in my case, because I'm only taking two IB courses!)  So, naturally, I spent this week preparing for it.  Unfortunately, I also had a culminating activity in Psych due Friday, and a Chemistry test on Friday as well, and therefore I spent virtually no time working on them.  On top of that, there's a French verbs test (100+ verbs, I believe!) and a Psych test on Monday, the second part of the Psych culminating activity due Tuesday and it turns out that the only Theory of Knowledge test for the entire year is scheduled for next Thursday.

Add into this mix the fact that I haven't gone to bed before 1:30am at all during this past week, and you can probably see where I'm going with this.  Wednesday evening I ran through my English presentation about 6 times, finally concluding around 2:00am that I'd done as much as I could, and I was pretty confident that everything would go smoothly.  Cut to next morning as I leave the house feeling ill, exhausted and worked up over the upcoming presentation.  I spent first period staring blankly at my work for the Psych culminating activity, coming up with every conceivable situation in which I could completely screw up the poetry analysis presentation because I suddenly didn't believe I was ready at all.  With this terrible feeling in me I went and asked the English teacher for an extension because I was afraid I'd blow it all even though I had everything planned out.  For some reason he gave it to me!  My spirits lifted and by lunchtime I felt normal again.

The only other interesting thing that happened was me going to bed at 3:15am Friday morning after finishing part 1 of the Psych culminating activity which was due in 5 hours!  I slept for 2.5 hours and left for band, and took a Chemistry test last period that actually seemed to go really well!

Yeah, I don't want to pull anything like this week again.  Night all.

PS. I should reinstall Firefox more often, I just fixed a bunch of the buggy behaviours that kept rearing their heads.  Suddenly the program loads in a relatively speedy fashion!

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